


Let him go

by phrynne



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Established Relationship, Kissing, Love, M/M, POV Draco Malfoy, Porn with Feelings, Post-War, Romance, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 05:27:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10915257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phrynne/pseuds/phrynne
Summary: And they say we only live once, but forget we can taste eternity in a second. And then, it’s all gone.





	Let him go

**Author's Note:**

> Just something I wrote in the middle of writing my longer fic, Hurricane. I've been feeling a bit heartbroken and wanted to write some Drarry about having this immense love for someone and having to let them go. Then, of course, porn happened.  
> Hope you enjoy it*

He senses him before he even sees him. There’s a way Harry looks at him, Draco has never been able to explain it, but it’s unavoidable.

The club is dark and Draco is sitting at the counter, a drink in his hand. It’s the third man he’s refused that night, he barely looks at him, just waves a hand saying no. And then he feels it.

 _Harry’s eyes on him._ On his back.

He doesn’t turn, he sits there, sipping the wine and breathing deep. He waits. It feels like he’s been waiting all his life.

He knows what Harry’s doing. He always does this. He leans against the wall, across the room, in semi darkness, staring at Draco, watching him drink, his eyes raking Draco’s body, and the air around them feels electrically charged. Sometimes he seems to stay like this forever, just looking as Draco finishes his wine, asks for another one, and those eyes linger on him, minutes spreading slow before him. _Like now._

Draco’s skin tingles, his every nerve is aware of Harry. He doesn’t know why, he’s not the sort of person who believes in romantic crap, but nothing is ever logical when Harry’s around. Minutes tick by and he’s not the same anymore. He’s conscious of his every gesture, of the way his white buttoned down shirt is open carelessly, revealing the lines of his neck and a stretch of skin, of the way his hair falls on his face, of his hand holding the glass, of his back, lean and straight… and burning. He knows he looks the same, but he isn’t. His hand shakes slightly. So slightly that no one would probably notice. But Harry does. He notices everything about Draco, even the things he’s fought all his life to hide.

Harry is moving towards him and usually that’s when Draco turns and looks up, as if something is drawing him in, unwavering. Only this time he doesn’t. He wants to make it linger. The moment. This sense of having Harry walk over, and resisting the intense pull that grips his whole body, threatening to overwhelm him. Harry is closer now, Draco recognises his magical trace in the air and the pull becomes unbearable. It almost takes too much out of him. Draco looks away from his drink and begins to turn slightly, but then he’s there, too close. Draco finds he was not ready. He never is. His eyes face the smooth fabric of Harry’s black shirt and he lifts them. His surroundings disappear.

In a split second the green eyes have him pinned to the chair, and Draco can’t breathe. He barely has a minute to take in the dark unruly hair, the slightly parted lips and he’s sure that’s a new scar he’s never seen, going down Harry’s right arm… he could stare for hours and still it wouldn’t be enough, so he takes in what he can. Harry is not moving, but he doesn’t need to. His scent fills Draco’s nostrils and he’s intensely reminded of how much he’s missed it. He couldn’t define it if his life depended on it, he knows only what it does to him. He’s always the first to moan, he does it even before Harry touches him, as a preamble. His body already knows what will come and so he moans, a deep needy whisper he’d be ashamed of years ago, but now he never is.

As if on cue, Harry leans towards him, his stubble brushing against Draco’s face, gently. Draco closes his eyes, the whole world is spinning and Draco wants to put his arms around Harry and hold on tightly but he doesn’t. He bites back the second moan, and waits again. Harry kisses his cheek, lips warm, tender, against his skin, and something screams inside Draco, so loud it drowns the beating music around them. And just like that, he is hard.

Draco’s breath catches as Harry takes his hand in his. They’re walking out of the club, as countless times before. Again Draco wonders why he even bothers to go inside in the first place, there’s no one else in there that interests him. But this is what they do.

His hand is burning, his whole body is on fire just from that kiss on his cheek and Harry’s hand on his. He still doesn’t get it. He always thought these intense reactions belonged in fantasies and Muggle romances. He can’t get a grip on this reality with Harry, but still he’s drawn to him like a magnet, he can’t help it. They’re fighting their way through the crowd. Or better, Harry is. Draco follows. Harry Potter overpowers him in every way, and he feels helpless and strangely safe, like nothing can hurt him when he’s around the most powerful wizard of their time. It’s strange, this feeling of being protected. Cared for. He feels like he’ll never get used to it. He does not feel inferior. Harry never makes him feel less. He always makes him feel like he’s everything and Draco does not even know how to deal with that. And he can’t get enough of this crazy feeling of being everything for Harry.

He feels dizzy, his palms are sweaty, his cock hurts, confined inside his tight pants - the ones he knows Harry loves - and suddenly they’re out of the club, and he’s pinned to the ground by those eyes. Harry releases his hand, but still he pins him there and Draco can’t move, he just can’t.

Harry looks serious. He always does when he’s so intensely aroused. Draco does not need to look down to know it, Harry is hard, he has been since he’s seen Draco sitting at the counter. He gets hard just by thinking of Draco. He also knows this, Harry has told him that a thousand times already, and still he never stops being surprised anew. Draco is sure this would be something that could happen with any other person in the world, but not with him. This is what _he_ feels all the time when he’s with Harry. Anyone could fall for Harry, Merlin, he doesn’t even know how anyone could be around him and not fall for him. What he doesn’t get is why would Harry fall for _him_.

He shivers. Harry is still taking him in, his eyes so intense Draco could drown in them. He wants to drown, it wouldn’t be such a difference since he already can’t breathe.

It has been such a long time. Again Draco thinks they can’t keep doing this because it’s starting to hurt too much. Time does not go by in the same way when Harry is not around. Days stretch out before him, turning to months and then years, and Draco feels like he’s suffocating, crashing down. Like now. He’s suffocating right now, as Harry looks at him.

Even though he knows what’s going to happen he still gasps when Harry steps forward and simply grabs him by the waist with such force that he lifts Draco off his feet. Draco struggles to not wrap his thighs around him there and then. His legs are just so used to it they seem to be going there of their own accord, but then Harry is pushing against him, so hard, and breaching his mouth with his tongue and the world crashes and goes to cinders because Harry has him, he has him again and for a few hours Draco will know again how it is to breathe. _To be alive._

Harry takes the lead as always, his hands grip hard at Draco’s arse, pressing, demanding, desperate, and Draco is moaning inside his mouth, feeling utterly lost, utterly found. He never knows what to do with his hands because when Harry’s back he just wants everything, he misses everything so much, he’s unable to choose. Mindlessly, his hands do what they always do… they go up and grab at Harry’s hair, and Harry pants and drives his tongue more inside him and Draco feels thoroughly filled. He misses Harry’s mouth fucking him. Harry’s hands press against his arse and they grind together, and Draco feels like he’s going to come. With Harry, it’s just like that. From the first look he feels like he’s going to come at any moment and it’s unbearable, it’s madness and he wants it more than anything. Harry’s hands take his body, stroking his thighs, then they go up, to his back and arms, then suddenly down again. Draco feels Harry’s cock growing against him, warm, hard, as Harry’s arms still on his arse and press there, just once. He almost screams from the sheer want that splits him open. He wants to ask to be fucked. He wants Harry to have him there, on the street. He thinks he can’t go crazier with want but then Harry smiles inside his mouth, a slow, endearing smile, that grows inside their kiss and Draco whimpers, he wants to cry. He doesn’t, he feels himself smile too, opening his mouth for Harry to take him and he does, he always does.

They stop after a long time. Draco forgets where he is. Doesn’t know what time it is, how long they’ve been there. His lips are sore and his body is abused and wanting and he can’t take it anymore. Harry has him in his arms, and he looks so beautiful Draco can’t think. He’s always been beautiful but nothing compares to this… this look on his face, when they break one of their kisses apart. Words fail him. It’s the look of a man who knows what he wants and he wants Draco, he always wants Draco, and everything in him speaks this truth out loud for anyone to see. He takes in the unrelenting green and sees it there, a desire that could burn cities to the ground, and under that, the same fire and will to live that had changed the world. It keeps changing Draco’s world.

Harry usually Apparates them. Draco loves it, the way he puts his hands around Draco’s waist, determined, intent, like they belong there more than anywhere else and he feels the intense pull of magic around him and on him, as they’re flushed together, and Harry’s magic has him spellbound. Maybe this is what it means to love the most powerful wizard of his time. You love his magic, the same way you love him, and you can’t have one without the other.

Harry’s hands press around his waist, he hasn’t taken his eyes off Draco for a second, there’s a trace of a promising smile on his face and Draco knows what it means. He breathes in deeply. But then, somehow, he knows he wants something different. He’s slightly taller than Harry and so he bends his head, leans over and gently pushes Harry’s upper lip between his teeth. Harry has to lift himself slightly against him and he does, he does this like he does everything else and Draco takes in his moan inside his mouth, drinks it thoroughly and his hands travel down Harry, taking in every curve and hard edge. Harry’s body molds to his and it still takes Draco’s breath away like the first time. He still doesn’t know how this is even possible, to have Harry. And then he decides. He tangles his hands on the dark hair and Harry feels breathless under him, and harder against his cock, and he does not even say anything but his eyes open wide because he knows something’s different. Draco Apparates them.

Draco’s magic envelopes them, Harry is still pressed on him when they stop, standing by Draco’s bed. Harry glances around him, his face rapt. They never fucked on Draco’s bed. It’s always Harry’s. Or Harry’s couch, or floor. Harry has him everywhere, and Draco does not care. He breaks open for him everywhere. But now they’re facing Draco’s bed.

Harry turns his eyes towards Draco and Draco knows he won’t look anywhere else for the night, at least not if he can avoid it. Draco feels captured in those eyes, but Harry acts like he’s the one captured and he’ll never get why. Harry is quiet, like the calm before the storm, as desire pulses through him in waves. He’s waiting on Draco and this is new for them.

Draco wishes he knew what to do, his heart is about to burst already. They do not undress, Harry does not move to touch him, they just stand there, too close, chests heaving, as Draco burns and takes in Harry, committing him to memory, even though he knows he doesn’t need it. Harry is etched on him.

He doesn’t know why, but he takes a step back, then another one. He wants Harry to see him. To really see him.

He starts unbuttoning his shirt, his hands tremble, but he keeps going. He doesn’t look at Harry, but listens as Harry’s breath catches on his throat, and that is enough. He removes his shirt, the sleeves catch, Harry’s breath catches again and he unbuttons his cuffs, slowly. Time has stopped, so there’s no need to rush. His hands travel down his own body, he feels Harry’s eyes on them. Raptured. Feels his need to touch him, the powerful control he’s demanding from himself to keep from moving and touching Draco.

He bends down to remove his shoes and socks and then he unbuttons his trousers. Harry’s breath goes uneven, loud, in the bedroom. He stifles a sound, but still he doesn’t move, he won’t, not until Draco goes for him. Draco is burning up as he takes his pants off, freeing his cock. He’s so hard for Harry.

Only then does he look forward and the green eyes consume him. Draco has seen this look so many times on him. This is the look Harry has on his face right before he takes Draco apart.

But he doesn’t and Draco knows this is taking all his self-control and he feels heady because not so many people could test Harry’s control like this. He steps forwards, naked, Harry drawing him in with his eyes but not moving, even though he could take him just now and fuck him into the mattress, no preparation, no nothing. And Draco would want it, would beg for it and he knows it. Still, they don’t.

He stops when he feels his hard cock brush painfully against Harry’s jeans. Harry bites his own lip, but he still hears the moan. Harry’s hands bawl up on his sides, he’s trying hard to get a grip on himself, and Draco loves it. He wants to take his hands, open them and allow them on his body. He loves how Harry’s hands roam his body and go everywhere, not a place forbidden in there for them, no out of bounds sign. Instead he leans over, his breath ghosting over Harry’s lips. He thinks of saying something. Teasing, dirty, intimate. But his whole mind is empty, he says nothing and Harry looks breathless, his lips parted, waiting Draco’s intrusion, willing, wanting. Instead, Draco leans slightly back and they part. He knows Harry is about to lose his mind because he feels the same way. But he’s on the lead now and Harry is waiting, fully dressed, eyes burning.

Draco knows what he wants. His eyes are drawn to the new scar on Harry’s arm. It looks deep, it travels down to his forearm. Draco traces it with the tips of his fingers and Harry sways on the spot, and closes his eyes, like he can’t bear it. Again, Draco can’t breathe because Harry always looks lost in his touch, like he’s the one who is so lucky to have Draco touch him and Draco doesn’t get it. That’s all he feels whenever he so much as looks at Harry. He feels like he’s the luckiest person alive and most undeserving. But now he forgets that. Draco doesn't know anything about this new scar, and wishes he knew, wishes Harry told him the story of his every scar, but he knows these are dreams for another life. Instead, he just feels lucky because he can touch them… every one of them… even the ones on the most intimate places… like that older one, on his left thigh… He wants to see it again. Touch it. Kiss it. And more… He goes down on his knees and Harry’s eyes shot open and widen, the green going dark.

Draco’s hands are on his fly and then he’s pulled down Harry’s trousers and pants down. Harry’s cock is jutting out of his body, it’s beautiful and Draco wasn’t going to but then he can’t… he takes Harry’s cock in his mouth and goes down once in one swift motion. Harry screams and the sound goes down to Draco’s cock and knees. He goes all the way up, Harry following his movement and then he removes his mouth and looks up. He’s trembling, Harry’s taste is on his tongue and he wants more, but there’s nothing like the look on Harry’s face, completely desperate and enthralled. _With him._ Draco licks his lips and stares down at Harry’s cock. He feels thirsty for it, he wants to stay on his knees for Harry all night. He leans over and his breath ghosts over Harry’s cock, but then he changes directions and feels Harry’s desperation rise. He smiles when he notices Harry’s hips jerk instinctively.

His eyes go over to Harry’s legs and he grabs them, caressing the dark hairs. Harry has amazing legs. He finds the scar he was looking for and traces it with his finger. He’s surprised to see Harry shaking under his touch and that sets him off. His lips brush against the scar and then he’s kissing it, licking it slowly and Harry’s hands shot for his hair and grab it and Draco revels in the pain that goes through him as Harry’s scent drives him out of his mind. He places his hands on Harry’s legs for support and traces the pattern of the scar inside Harry’s thigh with his tongue and Harry is moaning, gripping harder and harder at his hair. Draco nuzzles his head against Harry’s thigh and then, slowly, against Harry’s balls, and licks them softly but Harry jerks under him. Draco knows he’s so close and he has only touched his cock once. He lifts his eyes and lets Harry’s eyes fuck him on the floor but still Harry doesn’t move to do it and Draco feels taken over by some insane power that allows him to do this to Harry. There are traces of pre-come on Harry’s cock and Draco leans over. Harry lets out a yell even before Draco’s mouth takes in the head of his cock. He swirls his tongue around it and licks it clean, before popping out. Harry cries out and grabs his hair again for support, breathing so heavily now he seems about to lose it. Draco wants to cry at how good Harry always tastes and how he’s missed it, but he knows he has all his life to do that.

He stands up and something takes over him, an urgency that wasn’t there mere seconds ago. He wants Harry now. He clashes their bodies together, his naked one, Harry’s fully dressed one, and suddenly it’s too much. Harry grunts in his ear and crashes his mouth on his, hungry and needy, and Draco opens up for him, breaking apart. Harry is biting on his lips, sucking his tongue, then he goes for his neck and his teeth graze Draco’s skin, then bite into the flesh. Draco’s knees threaten to give in, but Harry has him, holds him up and then Draco moves to take Harry’s clothes of, Harry’s hands are going everywhere on him, demanding moans, and whimpers and Draco can’t help but give them to him. He’s screaming when Harry lifts him off the floor and steps back to fall on the bed with Draco straddling him. He has Harry under him and Harry’s arms draw him closer, one hand pressed on his arse, the other one on his back, like he knows Draco loves and their cocks brush together and Harry laughs. _He laughs_ and that laugh, bright, earnest, intense, reverberates through Draco, echoes on his skin and it feels like his heart is going to burst open. He wants to laugh, and come and come again on top of Harry, because he almost feels like he could come from it, from this laugh only, and he’s smiling beside himself and he doesn’t even understand how Harry can make him feel like this. So happy he could die.

Draco kisses a path down Harry’s torso, smiling into the sweaty and warm skin, feeling Harry arching under him, their cocks touching, dragging against each other, but none of them move to touch them. Draco licks every scar he finds on his way, loving every trace of Harry’s fights… being able to kiss those scars makes him feel special beyond anything, like he’s allowed inside some of Harry’s most painful intimate memories. But that’s not why he kisses them. He kisses them because they belong to Harry, they represent him, in some way. They tell the story of a survivor. He bends his head down as he reaches Harry’s thighs again and caresses them, reveling in the scent of Harry just there. Harry is now lying quite still, expectant, not even breathing. Draco looks up. Harry’s cock is so hard he wants to swallow it down, but now he wants something else. He loves Harry’s legs… they’re perfect for him to ride. He lifts his leg and grips his thighs around Harry’s right leg, feeling his cock drag on Harry’s hairs. Harry’s eyes are on fire as he pulls Draco close, placing his hands on his hips and he lifts his leg slightly up, placing his foot on the bed, his muscles tightening so he’s supporting Draco’s full weight on his strong leg.

A spark of pleasure rushes through Draco at the feel of the muscles tightening under him, and he grabs Harry’s hands and pins them to the bed, dragging his cock up and down Harry’s leg, so warm… traces of pre-come leak from his cock and Harry’s leg is wet, and his cock slips, and grows and Harry gasps under him, lost in the rhythm of Draco’s thrusts. Draco fucks his leg, as if he’s fucking Harry’s hole and his mouth covers Harry’s. Harry is moaning, he seems out of his mind, unable to move his hands still pinned down to the bed and rocking his hips in time with Draco. Draco’s head drops to Harry’s shoulder and he bites at the skin there, releasing Harry’s hands that shot for his arse, pressing him harder against the leg and his cock gets trapped between his body and Harry’s leg and it’s almost too much, the friction drives his pace faster and his hands travel down and he grips Harry’s arse with such force they are driven even closer. He tightens his legs and he’s riding Harry, pumping into him, his cock dragging heavily against the leg, his arse spread open by Harry’s hands on either side, he feels open and fucking powerful because Harry is pressed under him and he’s almost sobbing now, hands clasped on Draco’s arse, mouth open for the taking… Harry screams and it’s the most delicious sound Draco has ever heard. Harry’s cock is pressed against Draco’s stomach and it’s starting to leak, and then he’s coming. His whole body tenses under Draco and so does his leg and Draco arches his back, as Harry’s shoots all over him. Harry digs his teeth on Draco’s neck and there’s an endless moan coming from him as he comes between them, untouched, Draco still riding him. His leg tenses one more time and Draco is tipping over the edge, his hips jerk uncontrollably and his legs tighten so hard that Harry lets out a yell of pain and then he’s coming, torn by the force of his own orgasm, his come smearing all over Harry’s leg.

It always takes them sometime to get back to the real world. They breathe together, unmoving, Harry’s leg shaking under him. He’s going to lift himself from Harry but feels his hands on his arse still, keeping him there, as he lowers his leg under Draco. They’re tangled, sweaty, covered in come, and Draco always thought he’d care about these kind of things but with Harry he never does. He just doesn’t want it to end. Harry kisses him, hands climbing up from his arse to his face. Harry always kisses him like this… half desperation, half-gentleness. It breaks Draco’s heart everytime.

They have come untouched many times before, just from the sheer need of contact. Draco remembers one time when Harry had made him come just by looking at him and speaking in his ear. That deep Auror voice could get Draco to drop on his knees in a second. There was also that one time when he’d wanted to eat Harry out and he just did that. He’d had Harry spread open under him, as he spread his arse cheeks and dived in between them. He’d never forget that first time he’d done it to Harry. Sometimes reality even surpassed his wildest fantasies, because he’d never imagined Harry sounding like that. He was begging for Draco to fuck him open by the time Draco had his tongue inside him and Draco wanted to do it over and over again. He did. He also remembered the time where Harry had spent an entire evening kissing him all over, but intently avoiding those obvious spots he knew would make Draco go off immediately. Those had been the most excruciatingly beautiful hours of his life. He’d come untouched with Harry gently kissing the skin over his hipbone.

With Harry it was just like that, it wasn’t about experience, it was all about forgetting sex as it’s supposed to be and just go with what you felt. They’re both experienced, but Draco never remembers any bed tricks when Harry fucks him. Nor does Harry. There seem to be no rules, except what they want to do with each other, they do not care for coming or not. Draco has never been with anyone that doesn’t set his sex goal on making someone come. It never stops to amaze him how much they can do with each other’s bodies without caring for performance or coming or any of that bullshit. Sometimes Harry takes him apart, fucking him dry against a wall, and then taking him over and over again. Other times they go so slowly that they’re both sobbing by the time they come. Sometimes they explode in waves of pleasure but don’t come, sometimes Harry swallows him even though he’s not hard, or fucks him with his fingers just to feel him, but not to bring him off. Somehow, this time, it seems different from any other.

He turns Harry over, face down on the bed and wandlessly casts a cleaning spell on them both. Harry sighs endearingly at the touch of his magic on his skin, and Draco suppresses a shiver. He can’t quite grasp why his magic affects Harry this way. Harry feels pliant under him, having relinquished all his control for the night. And now that Draco has him, he feels overwhelmed by sheer want. He takes in every inch of Harry, his untidy black hair, his back - there are new scars there too, he leans over to kiss them, relishing the gentle pants coming from Harry-, the curve of his arse. Merlin, he loves it. He loves every bit of that man, it’s fucking ridiculous how much he wants him, how much he wants to press his body over him and stay there, feeling every curve, every edge, molding himself to him like they have been doing all these years. That curve of his arse looks delicious and as he’s thinking this he’s already climbing on top of Harry, straddling Harry’s arse, his spent cock nudged over Harry’s back as he leans forwards. He feels Harry adjusting under him, placing the curve of his lower back against Draco’s balls, and Draco shivers. It’s perfect, the sight of their skin against each other. He’s kissing down Harry’s back, tasting his skin, his hands tracing the visible scars on Harry’s arms. His nails brush gently against the skin and Harry arches against him, and it’s wonderful. Draco’s nails dug into the skin of his back and Harry cries out, he wants more of it and Draco gives it to him, digging his nails in deeper as he slides slightly down. His cock nudges itself between Harry’s arse cheeks and he feels himself harden. Harry bucks and gasps, his hands try to grab Draco and push him closer, he knows the pressing feeling of those hands on him, Harry is letting him know how much he wants him.

He grabs Harry’s hair and he grunts in response, wanting. Draco digs his knees on the bed and aligns his cock right at the crease of Harry’s arse. Harry is suddenly very silent as Draco slides forward once, then again, and watches as Harry’s hole twitches underneath his cock, beckoning him inside but he just doesn’t. He _accioes_ a bottle of lube from one of his drawers, there’s a swish of magic in the air, and Harry makes a loud moan. He’s turned on by Draco’s magic. Draco is smiling, unbelieving, as he catches the bottle in his hand. How can this even be. Harry bucks once against him and his hands shot backwards and try to grip at Draco’s legs, he wants Draco closer… Draco opens the bottle of lube and lets the cold liquid fall on his cock, smearing Harry’s crease with it, then he takes his cock in his hand and strokes it, so very slowly and Harry all but writhes under him, driven crazy by the idea of Draco touching himself on top of him like that and even more by the liquid spreading all over him, the heavy weight of Draco’s cock, so close, but not close enough for him… He leans forward, hands on either side of Harry’s head, and slides.

He’s not ready for the effect that has on Harry. He grunts and thrusts backwards, and Draco pins him down, sliding again, his cock throbbing and he thinks he can come like this but he doesn’t want it to end so soon. Harry’s rutting on the bed, he’s so hard it must hurt but still he doesn’t demand, he just turns his head and looks at Draco. The green eyes are so open, so vulnerable, and Draco reads so much into them his own eyes burn with something warm. His whole body is about to combust, he wants to bury himself inside Harry and Harry’s eyes are telling him he wants it, wants Draco to fuck him. Harry reaches out for him with his mouth and then they’re kissing like they’re about to die, Draco thrusting hard between Harry’s arse cheeks, Harry’s mouth so warm under his, his moans vibrating down Draco’s throat and he can’t bear it any longer.

He grabs Harry’s hair, pushing his head back and he pliantly goes with it, mouth open, and his arse lifts and Draco’s cock slides upwards, smoothly. Draco cries and then takes his right hand to his cock, watching as Harry’s hole twitches under it. The head of his cock breaches through that hole, slowly, steadily, and the world goes up into flames. It takes all his self-control to not move, to not go all the way in, but somehow Harry is moving even before he does, he’s slowly pushing back against him, allowing Draco there, inside him, until Draco is fully seated inside him. It’s too much. Harry is tightly wrapped around him, like a sheath and Draco still can’t believe he’s wanted there.

And then Harry moves, fucking himself on Draco’s cock, and nothing else matters. Draco fucks into that tight hole, eyes shut, keeping Harry in place as he pumps into him, and Harry is whimpering with his every thrust, meeting him every time. Nothing feels like this, nothing in the world. Harry is warm, and Draco has never felt more wanted anywhere. He pulls Harry up, closer, his chest against Harry’s back, sweaty and smooth, and the shift in angle makes Harry scream so loud Draco thinks he’s coming, but he looks down, Harry’s cock is harder than ever, but still he reels it in.

As does Draco. Harry’s hole clenches and unclenches around him, he’s going crazy, he thinks he can die but he keeps sliding in and out, then in deeper again, his cock hitting Harry’s prostate. Harry is loose, desperate, and he still turns his head to look at Draco, never taking his eyes away as he takes it. All of it. His green eyes water. It takes Draco a moment, between each deep thrust and maddening pace, to realise Harry is crying from pleasure. He traps Harry’s mouth under his, drinking in the moans now out of control, and he wants Harry to come, he wants Harry to explode, to come all over himself and leave Draco’s bed smelling of him. He reels in his own orgasm and thrusts slower and deeper, drawing longer, even more desperate moans from Harry and Harry is kissing him back, like he always does, not holding anything back, giving everything.

Harry breaks the kiss, screaming for air, his eyes widen and there’s a look there Draco has never seen and it takes his whole breath away.

‘Draco… I love you,’ Harry whispers and it’s the first time that night any of them spoke to the other.

For a moment, Draco doesn't know the meaning of the words. He has never heard them before. From anyone. And then Harry comes, just like that, eyes on Draco, and his hole clenches so hard around Draco’s cock it feels like he’s being sucked in and it’s too much at the same time, that Draco’s mind collapses and his self-control goes to cinders. He’s coming inside Harry so suddenly he loses his balance and they fall on the bed, Draco pumping harder, Harry screaming and still coming all over himself and on Draco’s bed sheets. Draco’s mind splinters and he sees white, as he rides Harry and there’s an incomprehensible sound still coming out of him, echoing loud in the room.

His ears are ringing as he drops on top of Harry. He leans his whole body against Harry’s and Harry lets him, does not nudge him away, they linger pressed against each other, Draco still inside Harry, bodies covered in sweat and come. He’s breathing in Harry’s post-sex scent. They stay like that, easing their breathing together, their hearts trying to find a more gentle motion. Harry gently rolls them over, and Draco gets out of him, slowly, his come dripping between them. Harry turns and kisses him, a deep open mouthed kiss, one that reminds Draco of everything Harry’s body as given him, and his lips are moist and wanting still, and Draco knows if he keeps doing that he’s going to be on his knees for him. He feels the hint of Harry’s cleaning charm over them, as Harry nuzzles against him, lowering his hand to Draco’s hip, drawing him closer.

Draco wants to tell him he can't take it anymore. He wants to tell him he won't make it another two years without seeing him, or touching him, or talking to him. His heart is breaking and there will be a time he won’t be able to glue the pieces together anymore. He thinks it’s this time. More than anything, he wants to tell him to stay, to demand it even. He thinks he has a right to demand it, he’s been in love with Harry for ten years. And it’s too much.

Still, he doesn’t. He knows Harry can’t stay. He knows this is all they have. And so he lets Harry hold him close, and he takes in the scent of Harry, his sweat, the warmth of his body, how his smile is always going to be _it_ for him. How he knows he’s loved, loved by this amazing man and wizard. He’ll probably never know why, but it doesn’t matter. Every second is precious, every second is already gone. Every second is eternity. And they say we only live once, but forget we can taste eternity in a second. And then, it’s all gone.

***

Draco wakes up, light from the windows touching his face, a sense of emptiness he’s gotten so used to surrounding him. He does not open his eyes, he doesn’t need to, he knows he’s gone. The familiar brand of pain is again marked on him.

Nothing hurts like letting go of the person you love.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are heartwarming*
> 
> I had no beta reader for this work, so if you spot any mistakes let me know. Thank you.


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